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Thursday, 06 March 2008

  • Good Enough

    I suppose the reason I don't write that often is because I am anal at times and I may scrutinize over what I write because I just want to make whatever it is that I write just incredibly perfect.  So, because Im not perfect, I never write.  It is a shame how sometimes we let our weaknesses hinder progress.  I wonder if anyone  else can relate to procrastinating because they're afraid what they do isnt going to be good enough or really incredible.

    This reminds me of a passage that the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7

    14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

     21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
          So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

    This reminds me of how even though I desire to do good or to write well or to have something amazing to say. I fall short. I fall short because Im human with a sinful nature.  It is in these moments of when we do what we know we ought not to do; God reminds us that it isnt our abilities, skills, works or morality that makes us worthy of salvation or fellowship with Him. It is however, the beautiful, selfless sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ through His Grace and mercy that we are good enough.

Sunday, 02 March 2008

Saturday, 11 November 2006

  • Something to consider....

    I recently received an email from my roommate.  The email was an article concerning the company of which I am employed.  So, as you can imagine, its contents came quite "close to home" .  Its seems Wal-Mart is investing some of its profits into homosexual organizations.  It's true.  Wal-Mart has agreed to donate 5% of online profits to homosexual organizations on the weekend of Thanksgiving.  Associates of Wally World affectionately refer to this weekend as "blitz" or my personal favorite, "Black Friday"  the busiest shopping day of the year.

         The article was posted on a christian website (American Family Association, or, AFA)  The objective of the article was to encourage christians to protest or boycott Wal- Mart because of it. 

    Although, as a Christian myself,  I do not condone or support homosexuality; find the concept of boycotting one of the largest retail companies quite silly.  A friend of mine brought up a good point.  "How will boycotting Wal-Mart bring homosexuals closer to Jesus?"  We should be reaching out to them not avoiding them.  I know the thought of doing this is, in a way, standing up for what you believe in. So, I do see why they feel something like taking such a stand is necessary. 

    But, nevertheless, I insist you see it for yourself.

    http://www.afa.net/walmartpetition.asp

    Ps: for all of those who are wondering...yes, I will continue to work there.  I dont think it necessary to quit because of it. Although, I will admit the thought had crossed my mind ;)

    Please...honestly, what do you think?

Friday, 06 October 2006

  • Finally....a post...

    So, I have been told that I Really need to post on xanga, so here it is. 

    I have an update since I last posted.  I have since then relocated to a town about 45 min away from home.  Not too far but far enough for some people to miss me as I am told.  I kinda miss Jefferson City.  I go to visit now and again but still, its not quite the same. 

    I have a job at Wal Mart.  I am a sales associate in the Shoe department.   I call it glorified shopping and I actually enjoy retail.  I didnt think that I would but I do.  I am kinda laying low for awhile until I have taken care of some debt that I have then I plan to actively pursue missions and traveling. 

    My roommate and I  put in an application at Bethany College of MIssions in Minnesota.  We haven't heard if we have been accepted or not ...but hopefully we will hear from them soon.

    OH...for all my HA Friends...Hey guys, I am coming to Teen Mania's 20 year reunion on October 13-15.  I hope to see you all there its going to be Huge! .  I will be excited to see all of your beautiful faces again and to meet your wonderful spouses (to those who have since married and all)  so...I hope to see you there. 

     

    If you want to know more...ask  me_anzee@yahoo.com

    yahoo messanger:  me_anzee

    I am also on myspace:    http://www.myspace.com/56192876

    Be blessed all,

    ~Angela A.

Sunday, 30 April 2006

  • The Room

    17-year-ol d Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was What Is Heaven Like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father,
    Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote." It also was the last.
     
    Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teary Valley High School. Brian had been
    dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them-notes from classmates and teachers, his homework, anything.
     
    Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But
    it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people
    want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said.
     
    Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off
    Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.
     
    The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we
    were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death.
    "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."
     
    Brian's Essay: The Room.
     
    In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small
    index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from
    floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention
    was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names
    written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
     
    This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail
    my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their
    content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
     
    A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I h ave betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read,"
    "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers."
    Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by
    the contents.
     
    Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it
    be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written
    in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
     
    When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly and yet
    after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that
    file represented.
     
    When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and
    drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.
     
    I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these
    cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and
    burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a
    card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
     
    Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
     
    And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on
    its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
     
    And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I
    cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this
    room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.
     
    No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His
    response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
     
    He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at
    me with pity in His eyes But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over
    and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
     
    Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine
    on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards.
    But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back.
    He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard
    Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
     
    He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still
    cards to be written.
     
    "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13
     
    "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."-John 3:16
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    • Name: Angela
    • Country: United States
    • State: Missouri
    • Metro: Jefferson City
    • Birthday: 12/30/1983
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/24/2003

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  • its_His_love
    I suppose I have been gone for far too long.
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    I like the new face of Xanga. :)